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[weboftime]

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[greatoldjohn]

Do you remember why I wasn't mad?

[weboftime]

Because I didn't kill him?

[greatoldjohn]

Yes and no.

I thanked you for not killing him. Because you were under no obligation to spare him.

Depending on what you want to be, you still aren't.

[weboftime]

Oh.

I'm not what I was.

[greatoldjohn]

That's what I wanted to know, before I really said anything further about it. What you are. What you want to be.

To be a thing is to have no obligation but your own desires and what your power will allow. You exist, and often exist beyond the imaginings of the small and limited and mortal. You don't hate them, but they're insignificant.

But being a person...

It has joy and wonder and warmth, beauty and companionship and love. It has music. Stories. Pain. Anger. Curiosity. Confusion.

Being a person has obligations. It has responsibilities. Relationships.

I don't get mad at things. They just are. There's no point, like I told you before. But I can be mad at people. I can be mad at friends who hurt my other friends.

It doesn't mean I'll stop being their friend. On the contrary, I know better than most how hard it is to go from being a thing to being a person. You fuck up a lot. I fuck up a lot still.

But I will be mad, because that's shitty to do, especially to a friend.

[weboftime]

I don't know what I want to be, John.

I don't know what I can be.

Being a thing, a concept, a being above it all was easier.

But then I hurt Trixie.

[greatoldjohn]

You can be a person. If you want to be.

It's not easy, but it's worth it. They're worth it.

People make everything so much better. Not easier, but better.

[weboftime]

I don't believe that.

I've seen the worst of humanity.

But I don't want to lose my friends.

[greatoldjohn]

You haven't. They always find new lows. And new highs. That's the balance.

But things don't have friends, Henry.

[weboftime]

I know. I was alone for a long time.

I like it better with friends.

[greatoldjohn]

That's your choice then?

[weboftime]

Yes.

[greatoldjohn]

I'm glad. I would miss you as a friend.

Even if I AM pissed off you killed Arthur. Don't think I didn't notice the dogs and the vines. He didn't deserve that.

[weboftime]

I was angry, like I said.

I wanted to tear the ship apart and everyone inside.

[greatoldjohn]

Because of something I did? Or something Arthur did?

[weboftime]

No. The Admiral.

[greatoldjohn]

Well, you didn't hurt the Admiral.

You hurt all of us.

That's why it's shitty.

[weboftime]

I didn't care.

At that time.

[greatoldjohn]

Do you care now?

[weboftime]

I don't know.

I think so.

[greatoldjohn]

But you don't know what to do about it?

[weboftime]

Not right now, no.

This is all new.

[greatoldjohn]

Would you like a suggestion?

[weboftime]

Alright.

[1/2]

[greatoldjohn]

Apologize.

Not because Trixie made you.

Because you realize that it was shitty and you don't like what you did now.

To each person you hurt and killed. Not in a big post; that looks like bullshit. Individually.

And then listen to what they say.