A lot of people here have very funny ideas of how reality works.
Arthur took out his anger on you so you took out your anger on him. There's no rules that say you had to leave it at that, not when you had the power to do more. But you did.
People think power comes with responsibility and that there are rules to the universe that say you have to do certain things because the alternative is terrifying to them.
But the truth is that the only kindness there is is the kindness we choose, and no reward for it but consideration we give to each other.
You could have hurt him worse. You could have hurt me because I was the reason he hurt you. Or even just because I didn't matter enough that you wanted to hurt him more than you didn't want to hurt me.
I won't pretend that you had any obligation not to hurt either of us. You don't. So I appreciate it, that you didn't. And I'm glad I matter to you. Something like that isn't the sort of thing you throw away.
If they aren't real to you, they aren't real to you. But sometimes you have to deal with the fact that they're real to other people. I know how that goes.
If you ever need to talk about it, you know where to find me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 02:28 pm (UTC)[ That's all. ]
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 02:32 pm (UTC)Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 02:40 pm (UTC)Something like that would have done lasting damage to him. And you didn't. Even though there's nothing either of us could have done about it.
So. Thank you.
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 02:49 pm (UTC)[Which is mostly a lie. But it's easier to be prickly and aloof than it is to admit he simply didn't want to hurt John.
The thanks has thrown him off, but he's still waiting for the other shoe to drop.]
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 03:19 pm (UTC)Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 03:26 pm (UTC)Of course not.
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 03:29 pm (UTC)Are you doing all right?
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 03:34 pm (UTC)Why are you still talking to me?
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 03:37 pm (UTC)Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 03:38 pm (UTC)Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 03:42 pm (UTC)I've done worse.
I've even done worse to Arthur.
Sometimes, you feel too much and you fuck up. Or you don't feel enough and you fuck up. Sometimes, it's even a combination of the two.
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 03:53 pm (UTC)Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 03:57 pm (UTC)He hurt you so you hurt him.
You could have done more and you didn't. That's why I thanked you.
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 04:04 pm (UTC)I expected different.
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 04:06 pm (UTC)Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 04:07 pm (UTC)As has already been proven.
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 04:22 pm (UTC)Arthur took out his anger on you so you took out your anger on him. There's no rules that say you had to leave it at that, not when you had the power to do more. But you did.
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 04:28 pm (UTC)Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 04:50 pm (UTC)But the truth is that the only kindness there is is the kindness we choose, and no reward for it but consideration we give to each other.
You could have hurt him worse. You could have hurt me because I was the reason he hurt you. Or even just because I didn't matter enough that you wanted to hurt him more than you didn't want to hurt me.
I won't pretend that you had any obligation not to hurt either of us. You don't. So I appreciate it, that you didn't. And I'm glad I matter to you. Something like that isn't the sort of thing you throw away.
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 04:54 pm (UTC)So - I understand. What you say makes more sense than almost anything anyone has told me.
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 05:04 pm (UTC)If you ever need to talk about it, you know where to find me.
Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 05:06 pm (UTC)Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 05:10 pm (UTC)Re: after gradumotion
Date: 2023-02-21 07:11 pm (UTC)Thank you.